One snail

One snail

Sunday, January 27, 2013

I thought things were going well...and then...

I've been racing along, super busy with work (more on that below), and feeling pleased with my progress.  I was making it closer to my water and protein goals, getting more vitamins in, and watching my clothes start to fall off.  Has it ever happened to you, though, that all of a sudden something takes the wind out of your sails?

That's what happened to me this week.  I had my "phone consultation" with my nutritionist.  (Now, this is not the one from my surgeon's office--this one is part of my requirements from my insurance company.)  She asked her usual questions about how I was feeling, my energy, etc., and then asked what my weight was.  I told her (it was 266).  There was this pause.  Then she said, "How do you feel about that?"  Gulp. There was something in her tone.  I said I felt pretty good--I was continuing to lose, but perhaps had come to a little plateau.  Wasn't that normal?  I had read a lot about those 3rd or 4th week stalls.  Her response:  silence.

In truth, I hadn't paid much attention to how many pounds I had lost since I last talked to her two weeks ago.  I was losing...I was happy about that.  So I said to her, "It sounds like you think I am not doing well...that I should be losing more."  She compared my loss in the previous two weeks (10 pounds) to my loss in this last two weeks (5 pounds).  I did what I needed to do to get through the last part of the phone call. ("Yes, okay.  Yes, I'll try that.  Yes, I'll up my exercise.")  I hung up and sat kind of stunned.

I started to second-guess myself.  Have I been eating too much fat?  Did I eat too many calories?  I did take one tiny bite of that cake pop from Starbucks.  I ate a little rice with my tofu and broccoli.  I did skip a few workouts because my arthritis has been super painful. (We went from 30's and crisp to 40's and a damp fog here.)  OH NO!  Have I messed this whole thing up???

Later, telling this experience to my partner (the phone call took place at work), I burst into tears.  And here's the response that got me to stop crying:  Don't let what she said get you down.  She doesn't know you. She's never really met you. She can't even see what you look like! You are doing amazing.

And I started to feel a little better.  I am a unique individual.  I might not be following some chart they hand out at the nutrition team meetings.  But I can still feel good about the past two weeks.  I also don't need to reject the information I heard altogether.  (So...I really should focus more on my exercise, despite my hip pain.)

What do you think?  Am I making excuses?  Should I take what she said more seriously?  I don't know, but I do know I've also had a few important NSVs last week:

  1. My primary care doc reduced my blood pressure meds by half.
  2. She is referring me for a home-study on my sleep apnea, because I have some signs that I might need lower pressure on my CPAP--or even not need it.
  3. I get comments every day from co-workers about how good I look (or how my clothes are falling off, lol)
  4. I had to put two more pairs of pants in the "donate" bags, because I was tripping over them.
Oh, and I lost 4 more pounds since Thursday's phone call.  That puts me 2 pounds away from a 75 pound total loss (since August when I started preparing for surgery).

So, a little happier now, and with a little additional motivation for change, I'm ready to tackle the work week tomorrow.  Speaking of, here's my report on how work has been going... has been a whirlwind!  I went back to work full-time on the 2nd week of the term, and we're now going into the 5th week.  Just when I have my schedule down, I have to revise it because something else gets added.  Luckily, I'm feeling a lot (a lot!) more energy, because I sure need it!  I'm teaching a full-time load plus some, doing my department chair duties on top of that, and also working on training faculty in our new online teaching software.  (If you know about online classroom management programs, we're moving from Blackboard to Canvas.)  But it's all lots of fun--I really do love my job. :-)

As you can see, I haven't had much time to blog--although I'm trying to keep up on reading some of my blog list!  I don't know what this next week will bring, but hopefully I can keep up at least a weekly report.

Take care, all!


  1. :( I know exactly what you are talking about - its tough when someone says that kind of thing. And your partner is right, this person doesn't know you, see you or understand. You are a formula to them. Calories in - Weight off. I think you are doing AMAZiNG! Frak... 75lbs is unreal great numbers, and you are doing the right stuff.... Ive had some struggles lately, everyone that knows about my surgery (with the exception of my husbeast), thinks that I should be losing more. Well - they can suck it! This is my journey, and I'm doing well and I'm happy. That has to count for something right?! :)

  2. This is what stuck me about your conversation with the Nut (who doesn't know you.) You said she didn't say anything. Instead you took her silence, and your mind started racing. I would probably be just like you and take silence to mean "uh oh I'm doing something wrong" but I think maybe next time that happens ask HER what she thinks or if she has an opinion at all. Another thing, my mom ALWAYS taught me, "It's not WHAT you say it's HOW you say it" so you alluded to something in her "tone" that didn't sit right with you. So maybe in the end she was "trying" to be helpful but that it didn't come out that way. The fact remains though that as a nutritionist that is HER job to help, encourage, and yes point out mistakes and offer helpful advice to take a different path the next time. I think you have done a tremendous job and you actually LOST a LOT of weight before surgery which is something I *wish* I had done. I figured it would come off quickly after surgery but as we all know that is living in la-la land. It's hard damn work to take off the weight, whether it be PRE or POST op, there is no way to make the weight fall off. So dust yourself off, congratulate yourself on a job well done, and keep working towards that goal!

  3. There is a lot of wisdom in what Tamzin and Sheila said.

    I do think you interpreted her silence in a way that it wasn't intended or maybe intended to make you feel guilty.

    It is important to question our eating habits, but it doesn't mean you were doing anything wrong.

    My weight loss feel off after the third month. I lost 25 pounds the first month, 14, the second, 9 the third month and six the fourth month. I lost about 6 pounds for a few months and then nothing for several months. I upped my water and started losing again, but I am still lucky if I lose 5 pounds in a month.

    But I also measure inches and that shows up as well.

  4. Thanks for the advice, everyone! It is certainly possible I read more into it than she meant. Probably feeling a little sensitive. :-)