In two weeks, I will be in the hospital recovering from gastric bypass. It's coming too quickly and too slowly simultaneously. I spent so much energy getting to this place--jumping through insurance hoops, losing the first 17 pounds to qualify, doing my required phone consults with the nutritionist, exercising, exercising, exercising (did I mention exercising?)--that to actually BE in this place is like suddenly putting on the brakes. Everything seems to have slowed down to molasses.
On the other hand, it is finally hitting me about the ultimate seriousness of this step. I will actually be doing this very soon. Is it normal to be a little trepidatious at this point? Instead of using my energy to push for the date, my energy is now racing around in my head. Then it seems like this is happening fast! (And it is--I started getting ready for this on August 28, so that makes the process start-to-finish only three and a half months.)
Also I am thinking of more questions than I had before. Such as, can I drink a protein drink, and drink water? Makes sense that you could because it's MADE with water, but I am trying hard to practice not drinking water (or anything) with meals. (WAY harder than I thought, by the way.) So is a protein drink a meal or a snack?
How about this one: Can I take my iron pill with a protein drink? I've been taking it with a protein bar that I don't think will work after surgery (at least for a while), and being vegetarian, I depend on a lot of dairy protein. I usually take the iron in the morning with breakfast, but obviously can't take it with dairy like yogurt or cottage cheese. I am writing all these questions down.
Then there's finishing up the quarter at school. The regular quarter ends next Friday (December 7), and final exams run the following week (ending on December 14). Grades aren't due until December 18--but obviously I will need to turn them in well before that! Luckily I only have one regular final to give on December 10 (the rest of my classes this term are online) and a few meetings on December 11. My usual routine is to tell myself I'll get caught up, and be done with grading early, and then be rushing to submit them on the last day, and that is definitely not going to work.
All this being said, I have a lot of positive energy and plans for the next two weeks. I am stocking up with broth, protein powder, yogurt, cream of wheat, etc. for the first weeks after surgery. I am actually keeping up on grading, and when writing my syllabi this fall, set due dates for term papers December 6 & 7 instead of the following week. (I did this well before I even knew if I could do this--positive thinking!) I am reading blog posts and re-reading some of the books and materials I have. I am planning out some of the logistics for the whole hospital thing. Also I am hanging out with my support people (especially my amazing partner) and my "support pets" (recently had my face thoroughly washed by my dog after I got off the treadmill).
But still...AAAAAAAAH! :-)